This last week I have seen a number of guys describe how they are finding it difficult to live their ‘new’ life because of rumors that people from their ‘old’ life are spreading around.
Dude, I have to ask … whose life are you living?
And since when did what ‘they’ have to say get so much power over the life you ‘must’ live?
When I think about rumors I find myself wondering, do you ever get to hear the real story for yourself?
Think about it, when you hear that people have been saying things about you, did you hear exactly what was said? Were you in the room to hear it directly from the person who was saying it? So do you ever really know what exactly was said?
I can’t say that I have.
You usually hear it from someone who means well. They relay the story of what they heard, at best a second-hand version. There’s a pretty good chance that they heard about it from someone else too, now a third-hand version. There’s a good chance that the person telling you did not hear exactly what was said from the person who was saying it.
So which version of what happened are you really getting?
Yes, there is the odd occasion that the person telling you was actually there. That they did hear what was said. Yet I get the feeling that they select a way to tell you what they think you should hear rather than exactly what was actually said. Perhaps in an attempt to protect you. Or to soften the blow, you know, because they really care for you. Right?
Either way, you are left to process a set of ideas that may or may not even be true.
Dude, even if they were true, what does that matter to you?
Words only have the power to influence you when you choose to give your attention to what has been said. Then you get to process them into some sort of image in your mind. You get to select what symbol to give each aspect of the image, adding layers of understanding as you build up this story in a way that each idea makes sense for you.
As you edit these ideas together into an image you create a movie in your mind of what is going on. The more emotion you load on each idea the richer you make each image. The more meaning you create the more power you give that meaning to shape the way that you think and feel. The more intense the feeling, the more powerful a state you create.
This state is what then ‘takes over’ your life as it has the power to shape how you react and respond.
Dude, the only way people can think for you is if you let them take over your brain. All you need to do is let their thoughts (which you can only hallucinate at best) replace your own. As you do that you let them become the editor of your mind. You let their movies run your mind and in effect your life.
Sound ridiculous yet?
So why is it that we do this so easily?
And so often ...
What you need to do is take back control of the movie in your mind. Dude, then you get to edit your own movies. You get to select the meaning that you give each idea. You get to choose what makes sense for you. You get to select what emotion you load each experience with. When you select the emotion that drives the meaning of your movie, you get to select the state that you create.
When you are in control of your own state, you will learn how to live your life on your own terms. It will not matter what other people have to say about you or your new life as their movies no longer have the power to shape your thinking.
When you are living your own life, you will be able to select who you listen to and what you focus on. This alone will have a massive impact on the way that you show up. The people who will recognize this the most will be those who are closest to you. Most important among those, to me at least, being your child(ren)..
If you are ready to leave the rumors behind, take back control of the movie in your mind, and learn to live your own life in a way that brings you closer to your child(ren) send me a PM so that we can chat about if you and I are a good fit. When you are ready we can get you started right away.